AEC’s Wishes for 2020
You may have noticed that we took a break from blogging over the last two weeks—our effort toward some more presence and family time over the holidays. We hope you got some of the same. We (Amy and Lauren) got some time together over New Year’s and discussed our reflections, wishes, and resolutions as we transitioned from one year to the next. Here, we share them with you. Feel free to share yours in the comments!
Talk about money
While we’ve written about pay equity several times, we’re committed to continuing the conversation on and offline. When employees—of all genders—are transparent about their salaries and responsibilities, workplaces and wages become more fair for everyone. Money is often considered a taboo subject, but keeping the taboo intact tends to benefit the people who already experience systematic advantages in the workplace. I (Lauren) have started to talk more about money—salary, work and service responsibilities, debt, and personal finance—more often and with more people. While it can be uncomfortable, it doesn’t need to be. I have found that having those conversations in the contexts of friendships, trust, and collegiality promotes honesty and collaboration. More of that in 2020!
Get social
Sure, I love a few minutes of scrolling through social media feeds as much as the next person, but I’m committing to more offline social networking in 2020. For me, that will mean looking for events in my neighborhood, at my local library, and in my city’s cultural institutions. While I consider myself incredibly lucky to have close friends in my neighborhood, city, and workplace, I want to learn more about the happenings in my city—especially as they pertain to issues of gender equity—and to both broaden and deepen my (offline) social networks.
Step up and say something
There are many times that I can think of when I heard something offensive or tone-deaf and didn’t say anything. Sometimes, we don’t say things because it is uncomfortable, sometimes because we fear repercussions, and sometimes because we care deeply about the people saying the uncomfortable things and don’t want to rock the boat. But in 2020, in the spirit of calling people in to the conversation, rather than calling them “out,” I (Amy) am going to practice a “see something, say something” mentality and invite people into conversations that challenge stereotypes and biases. We have lots of significant political conversations coming up and lots of rights to fight for. The time for opting out of the tough talks about biases is over. Don’t get me wrong; I’m not talking about increasing my participation in “cancel culture,” which is something that I struggle with on several levels. Instead, I’m saying, let’s talk about it. Living the values I believe in, around gender and race equity, is important to me, and so it is time to stand up and say something.
Stop being so mean to yourself
This resolution is one that I hope that I can live and that I can encourage others to live, whether it be my friends, family, or students. Consistently, I say things to myself that I would never tolerate others saying, and I hear others say deeply hurtful things about themselves. This year, I’m going to focus on being kinder to myself, on forgiving myself when I fail and getting back up and trying again. Shifting the conversation you have with yourself may also allow you to practice that same grace and forgiveness with others. You are doing the best you can—and even if you aren’t, continually reminding yourself of your struggles isn’t helping anything. There is nothing wrong with striving for improvement, but do not mistake bullying yourself with improvement. If you wouldn’t say it to others that you love, don’t say it to yourself. Be kind to yourself in 2020. I will try to do the same.
-Lauren and Amy