At this point, we probably all have our favorite binge-watches and binge-listens. Ann Friedman, journalist and host of the legendary podcast, Call Your Girlfriend, just dropped a brand new pod – Going Through It. This should go to the top of your list STAT. In each episode, Friedman interviews a woman who faced a question. This question is usually associated with a struggle or a hurdle and often concludes with a hard-won transformation. Women don’t often get to tell their own stories of work, wisdom, or wins, so Friedman’s offering here is significant. I (Lauren) have listened to the whole first season and pulled out some of the reflections that were most meaningful to me. 

Build the Space You Need

Kathleen Hanna, one of the founders and icons of the Riot Grrrl movement, never wanted that title or that position. When she first started playing music in the punk scene, she took over a garage with her bandmates and totally rehabbed the space to fit the needs of a burgeoning band, music style, and movement. Space-making became a hallmark of Hanna’s, and of her band (Bikini Kill): they invited girls to the front so that women (and eventually other marginalized individuals) attending shows would be safe from aggressive men. Hanna’s background in rape and sexual violence counseling was essential to her interaction with audience members during shows and, ultimately, after she left Bikini Kill. 

For the quotebook:

I felt like I could talk freely because I was on stage and I had the microphone. 

We didn’t just have to start a band, we had to …create the space – we literally built the space. It was kind of the only way we would have enough guts to do this is because we had the space. 

What if we just…stop freaking out about all this bad stuff and just say thank you for the artists and activists who inspire us? 

Fear Not

Hillary Clinton recounts the year she almost dropped out of college. She arrived at Wellesley College, proverbially bright-eyed and bushy-tailed but almost immediately encountered women she perceived to be better prepared, more focused, and generally just cooler. Who hasn’t been in that position? She even called her mother and asked to go home. Her mother flatly refused. Ultimately, Clinton stuck it out and made connections and developed skills that would be useful throughout her career in law and politics. She gave the commencement address at her college graduation in 1969.

For the quotebook:

Any new experience is rocky, whether or not we admit it to ourselves. 

[Outside of your comfort zone,] you learn about resources that you have and resilience and determination that keep you going – you also get moments of epiphany. 

Fear is always with us but we just don’t have time for it – not now. 

It’s Just Five Minutes

Rebecca Traister, whom we’ve cited often on this blog, tells the story of how she became a freelance writer right before she had a baby and, subsequently, felt a total loss of control. Writing felt nearly impossible once her daughter was born and feelings of insufficiency almost overwhelmed her. Traister worried that she had made a grave error, that she had bankrupted her family, and that she would make no further contributions to her family or to society. She ultimately found her way out, but not before a good friend counseled her that the day-to-day decisions that felt so heavy are really just five minutes of a life. She continues to adhere to that mantra when life feels difficult.

For the quotebook:

When you’re in the middle of that, it feels like every choice is the most important and every decision is the most important and so long lasting. And then you realize in retrospect, it’s five minutes of your life. 

- Lauren