This opinion piece, “I’ve Picked My Job Over My Kids,” didn’t flit virally across the internet (at least not on any of my feeds) and it doesn’t propose a radical solution by which women really can have it all. Instead, just as the title suggests, it’s about a woman who made a series of choices and she has prioritized her career. I’ve read through this a few times in advance of writing about it and I experience it differently each time. I have read it as a lean-in narrative of a powerful professional woman, as an incendiary rejection of the notion that anyone can have it all, and as a model of (perhaps unexamined) privilege within the author’s life. Whatever you think about it – and I hope you acknowledge the complexity present in this piece – I think there are a few points worth highlighting. 

1. Women must prioritize. The author opens by countering the presupposition that “’work-life’ balance is achievable. It’s not.” Ms. Bazelon is clear about the fact that her life is full: she has a demanding job and has two young children. She is also clear that, as a result, she has to make choices about how she spends her time. This is, of course, a financially pragmatic choice because she independently supports herself and her children. But Bazelon’s choice to work (in some cases more than she sees her children) is also driven by the importance the author places on her job. She recognizes her own talent, the unique capacity she has to serve victims of an unjust criminal justice system, and that the work is quite simply something that she loves to do. 

2. Liking work is not a vice. Bazelon is perhaps refreshingly clear about this part of her life: she loves her work. Her work is as meaningful as the work of loving and raising her children. I found this perspective helpful. Even when we see stories about women balancing work and home care responsibilities, there is not often as unrestrained a sense of calling as is evident is this essay. Frankly, that was encouraging for me to read but I wonder what that means for women who talk about balancing work and home care responsibility—might they be afraid to talk about how much fulfilment they get from their work? It may be important to continue to resist the idea that women’s best work is at home and something is wrong with them if they enjoy work outside of the home more than care responsibilities. 

3. Choices have consequences. Bazelon actively lists the events in her children’s lives that she has missed, which include a couple birthdays, holidays, and a host of school events. The author is cognizant of what her choice to work long hours during that season of life meant for her family: assembling caretakers, explaining the value of her work to her children, and dealing with the “doubt, shame and fear” in regards to her mothering. There is another subtle issue in play here: circumstances enable choice sets, which in turn create the circumstances that enable subsequent choice sets. Some of these choices were circumstantial, which allowed the author to engage more deeply in her work, which thereby created more opportunities for her (teaching at the university level, writing an opinion piece in the Times). The author also talks about choices not to do things—she turned down a teaching opportunity to spend more time with her children. The relationship between choices and consequences is always salient for women who are both mothering and working. 

Let us know your thoughts!

-Lauren